Short and Sweet

Good morning from loverly Sidney,

I just got back from "camping" in the freaking woods with my wife and her family. They went out there last Thursday, but I didn't join them until yesterday afternoon, and I only stayed the night. I left at approximately 7am this morning after having spent a fantastic night crammed into the front seat of my truck.

Allow me to explain: Suzanne's trailer will sleep 3 comfortably or 6 really uncomfortably. As it was, Suzanne and Chris slept on the floor, Chase and I had what could laughably be called the hide-a-bed, and Grandma and Grandpa had the real bed in the loft compartment.

Due to some miscommunication, Suzanne only booked the "modern" campsite for the first night, so they were stuck with the "primitive" campsite for the subsequent nights.

What's the difference, you ask? Basically, electricity. She couldn't plug in her trailer, so was forced to run her generator for the AC, lights, etc. This worked fine until 10pm when all generators were required to be powered-off. Naturally, no generator equals no AC. 6 people jammed into a space the size of a really large bathroom tend to generate a lot of stuffiness (and body-odor). I believe it was this stuffiness that caused her parents to snore like a couple of longshoremen on a bender.

If the AC had been running, it might have drowned out the noise, but alas it was dead silent except for those two up there sawing wood like a couple of deranged loggers.

Eventually, the noise and the mugginess drove me out of the trailer. But where to go, I asked myself. The only other option was the truck (I don't sleep outside). Naturally, the back seat angled back in such a way as to jam me into the same space between the seat and the backrest as those long lost seat belt buckles. I could stretch out but I couldn't breathe as my rib cage was getting crushed by the stupid angle.

So, I moved to the front seat, which wasn't bad except for the fact that the back only goes down far enough to make you ALMOST comfortable enough to fall asleep. Instead, it stops about 1.5 inches too short leaving you in a constant state of wanting more. Eventually, I nodded off out of sheer exhaustion, only to be awakened at 6:17am by our moron dog. The "neighbor's" dog wandered over and riled up our dog who, being stuck in his kennel, decided to make up for his lack of ability to sniff the other one's ass by barking his damn fool head off.

Suzanne, of course, was nowhere to be seen, so I had to get out of the truck, shoo away the other idiot dog, and beat my dog into frightened, subdued silence. By then, I was "up" and the only thing on my mind was getting the hell out of there. So, I said my goodbyes, and loaded up the truck and moved to Sid-uh-ney.

I got home about 8am, grabbged a little breakfast (trailmix - in honor of my recent camping adventure), and started mowing the lawn. By 9am it was already about 90 degrees, so I decided to leave the back yard basically unmowed while I guzzled water and googled "heatstroke". You can't be too careful. Eventually, my heartrate dropped back down to 120 or so, and I was able to consider what to do with the rest of my day. Why not blog it up, I asked myself.

So I did. The end.

(BTW, if you haven't bought my house yet, ask yourself what the hell you're waiting for and get out there and do it already!)