Latest house stuff - and a happy birthday.

"How-do, Honey" from Sidney!

My ex-step-grandmother used to say that to me every time she saw me. This is when I was about 12 or 13 years old. Of course, she thought she was "country", so she'd say it like "Howww-Doo, Huuuunnneee". Imagine that lady from Hee-Haw, the one with the price tag hanging from her hat. Yeah, that's it.

Why did I think of that, you ask? Unknown. Every now and again I hear her voice yodelling out that greeting, and it sets my teeth on edge. I guess I didn't really like my ex-step-grandmother all that much, come to think of it... Hmm.

Anyway, today is my best friend's birthday. His name is Daren and he lives back in Carson City where some of my family still live. He's also just turned 40, but he doesn't look nearly as good as I do! To be completely honest, I have five best friends, spread out all over the country, but Daren is my first,+ best friend.

He and I met when we were about 14. It was love at first sight - we were both thin and had long, luxurious hair. Ah, the memories. His first words to me were, "Hey, you wanna go in halves on a dime bag." He always did have a way with words.

Naturally, I was all for it, and the next thing you know we were smoking ourselves into obvlivion and bonding. I think we were bonding, anyway, it's all kinda fuzzy. All I know for sure is there was a lot of nakedness invovled.

When we were in high school, Daren, Chris, Brian and I all agreed to meet in New York for the Millenium's new year's eve celebration. We would be 33 years old by then, and would marvel at how exciting our lives would be by that point. Sadly, we never made it - mostly because those other bastards completely forgot about the plan. What a waste of money on those matching noisemakers!

But I digress. It's also William Shatner's and Marcell Marceau's birthday. I'll bet they never forgot any promises they made with their highschool chums!

The contract for the new house got signed yesterday. We sent it off to the VA Mortgage lady who will now schedule the VA inspection. Once that's done, it's a simple matter of closing on the loan. The annoying part is that the VA inspector has 10 work days to get off his ass and actually inspect the damn thing. If he finds anything that needs fixing, however, we'll have to work with the sellers to get it corrected before we can close on the loan. It's all a big pain in the ass!

On the plus side, we'll have two large-ish mortgages to pay every month that our old house fails to sell! Wait a minute... that's not the plus side... What was I thinking?? Silly me. (please buy my house)

If you haven't heard, the only good thing about the relocation to Sidney is that all we need is somebody to make a legitimate offer on the house (in writing). Once that happens, the relocation company will buy the house from me. They'll wire me the difference between what I owe on the house and the negotiated sale price. Then, they'll own the house, and they'll have to pay the commission and all the closing costs. And, if the buyer backs out at the last minute, they'll begin making all the mortgage, insurance and utility payments. Once they wire me the money, the house will still technically be in my name, but it will no longer be my responsibility whatsoever.

That will be great! I've already predicted an offer by tomorrow, so within a couple of weeks, we should be swimming in cash! I might buy a new shirt - a t-shirt that says, "I'm rich!". That will be funny.

Actually, I promised a guy at work that, when our house sells, I'll take his family out to dinner. He's a big boy and he's got four kids and a wife (who are all probably also all decent-sized - I've never met them), so it's probably going to be a bit spendy. But, that's ok - I'll be wearing my t-shirt and a big old smile!

Happy Birthday, Daren! You promise-forgetting bastard!!! ;-)