Monday, June 23, 2008

Ode to Carlin - another sad day.

Grief in Sidney..

Anybody who knows me knows that I'm a fan of George Carlin from way back (remember, I'm old). I remember being a kid and listening to an album (yes, an LP album) called "Toledo Windowbox" and thinking, "this guy's a genius". I saw his first HBO special "Carlin at Carnegie" and had pretty much memorized it. One of my favorite quotes of all time is "Have you ever noticed that most of the women who are against abortion are women you wouldn't want to fuck in the first place." I recorded that line into the very first answering machine my family ever owned and, boy, was my mom pissed!

So, it was with a heavy heart that I heard that George passed away on Sunday of heart failure. He'd already had several heart attacks and he wasn't exactly known for his physical fitness - even so, I really had hoped that he'd be with us for a lot longer (he was only 71).

I think what I liked best about him was his absolute refusal to accept bullshit. He realized that religion was a crutch for truly weak-minded people and he didn't mind rubbing their noses in it. He made sure that politicians were soundly thrashed (remember Reagan and his criminal gang) and he eschewed euphemisms and mocked any who used them. He basically said everything I believe at one point or another.

So, rather than go into all the reasons why I liked and admired him, let me just say that I'll miss him. He really was the original voice of the hippie generation, and ended up being the voice of several generations thereafter.

Sorry that this wasn't my usual funnier-than-shit self, but I'm kinda sad. I think tomorrow I'm going to go out and see if I can't find a copy of "Toledo Windowbox". On CD, though, not LP. I liked the guy, but I'm not going to buy a record player just to listen to 35 year old comedy - genius though it may have been! He wasn't Saint Carlin after all. :-)

If you like political humor, check out his stuff - especially from the 80's. If you're easily offended... well, you probably shouldn't be reading this fucking blog in the first place! ;-)

Friday, June 6, 2008

Stoopidity in the workplace.

Sadness from Sidney,

Ok, not really sadness, more like disgusted frustration. We've interviewed about a million people for our open Unix position (linux/solaris). Half of the people suck and the other half are unqualified (due to suckage).

Basically, they're all stupid. Most, however, are stupid in the most insidious way: They THINK they're intelligent because they're comparing themselves to the REALLY stupid people that they work with.

For instance, some guy might rate himself an 8 on a scale of 1 to 10. But, he only knows how dumb he is in comparison to the "smartest" guy in the shop. Naturally, on the Anthony Scale, he's really only about a 5 or so. So, when he shows up all proud of himself ready to "wow" us, he ends up leaving sad and even a little dirty - mostly because of all the sucking up he had to do to overcome his uselessness.

Back in Omaha, we worked with a guy named Dan. Dan was, in a nutshell, a dumbass. However, he fancied himself a really smart guy who had the misfortune of having to work with three or four super-smart guys. It bummed him out because he was used to always being the smartest guy in the room, until he came to Mutual. Suddenly, he was basically the dumbest.

The sad thing is, stupid people are completely oblivious to their own shortcomings. When I was a kid, I used to think that stupid people stayed awake at night, bemoaning their intellectual limits. Little did I realize at the time, those people slept like babies! They didn't stay up late at night because they had no idear that they were morons. They figured, at worst, they were average.

Regrettably, I'm still dealing with these mental midgets today. Here's an example: we had a guy in recently who was applying for the Solaris position. I told him at the time that I was the resident Solaris expert. He admitted that his Solaris knowledge was a bit rusty, but was ready to show me his stuff.

About halfway through the interview, I asked him a middle of the road technical question. He had the right idear, but the wrong filename. I guess I gave something away with my body language, because he immediately became defensive. I told him that he did indeed have the right idear, he was jut quoting the wrong filename.

He sat back a little smugly and explained how I must be mistaken because he remembered quite clearly the name of the file. I felt a little like Phil Helmuth when he's holding the nut flush and some guy with a pair of queens just went all-in. But, I'm a nice guy and I didn't want to hurt his little feelings, so I gave him a chance to get off the hook. I said something like, "As the resident Solaris expert, I can tell you right now that you've got the filename wrong. But, it's no big deal, so let's just move on."

This wasn't the first time he'd been wrong, so I was positive he'd demur politely and let it go. BUT HE DIDN'T! He continued arguing with me that he was right - he even became a little aggressive, leaning forward with raised eyebrows. I tried to calm him down and I gave him one last chance to get off the hook by saying something like "I'm positive that you've got the filename wrong - but, don't sweat it, let's just move on."

He sat back with arms crossed and an angry face. Then, he finally noticed the confident look on my face and he started to backtrack and apologize for being aggressive by explaining he was just having a hard time of the interview, etc. But, he was still pretty sure he was right.

Finally, I busted out the correct answer. He slapped his forehead with both hands then dropped his head to the table and covered his face with his hands. I honestly thought he was going to cry. He eventually sat back up and admitted I was absolutely right (as if!) and fell all over himself apologizing for being so argumentative, etc. I told him it was ok, but we both knew he'd pretty much talked his way out of a job.

This is exactly what I'm talking about - stupid people honestly have no idear that they're stupid. I wish I could say this guy was the exception and not the rule, but I'm afraid that isn't the case.

Although, to be perfectly honest, I appreciate the fact that stupid people are out there - it just makes me look better by comparison. :-)

Cya!