Hoarding

I recently watched several episodes of a reality-type show called "Hoarders". It's a one-hour show similar to the extreme makeover show, where each week they profile a new set of freaks. At the end of the show, the houses are usually, relatively clean. I say relatively, because the absolutely deplorable condition of the house prior to the show is truly and unbelievably disgusting.

Hoarders are people who are extreme OCD sufferers. They throw almost nothing away and often live in absolute filth. In almost all cases, they constantly bring more and more stuff into their homes until their houses are literally unlivable. One family had to live in a tent outside their home due to a bed-bug infestation. My skin has been itching ever since.

Believe me when I tell you that there is no way for you to imagine the inside of their homes if you didn't see it for yourself. It's stupefying. In almost every case, there were rooms in their homes where they couldn't even enter anymore due to the fact that it was completely full of crap. Sometimes there were multiple rooms in this state.

I fancy myself a student of behavioral psychology insofar as I've read and/or watched numerous portrayals of bizarre activity. I'm fascinated with the freakish - Munchausen and Munchausen-by-proxy syndromes, Pica, Anxiety disorders, OCD, Tourette's, Anorexia, Bulimia, Body Dysmorphic Disorder, you name it. I'm also fascinated with physical extremism - Dwarfs, Giants, Morbidly Obese, rare and often debilitating skin/bone conditions, etc.

But, in all my endeavours, I've never come across hoarding. I've heard that at least one of my in-laws exhibits all of the symptoms of being a hoarder, but I never really believed it could have been as bad as how it was described. I realize now that I was mistaken.

Now, coming from a family with a restaurant-menu selection of neuroses, I'm hardly one to judge anybody else on their particular brand of crazy. That said, Hoarding might be the most devious (and possibly the most devastating) mental-illness I've yet encountered. As I understand it, it's a gradual process - like slowly boiling a frog. If done slowly enough, the frog will not realize it's being boiled and will simply eventually die.

Hoarders live in a constant fire hazard. Due to the fact that nothing can ever get truly clean with all the clutter, it's also extraordinarily unhygienic. So much so, as a matter of fact, children living in a hoarder's home are regularly at risk for being placed in protective custody.

I think the most bizarre aspect of this "disease" is the fact that, the people who have it, and realize they have it, STILL can't overcome it without a huge amount of psychological help. Even then, a lot of them fail. Even when the kids have been taken out of the home due to the hoarding, the parent(s) STILL completely lose their minds when faced with the prospect of throwing away ANY of their garbage. Seriously - garbage.

Finally, and maybe scariest of all, it seems to be somewhat contagious. For instance, there was a couple on one show where the wife was really angry at the husband for hoarding a bunch of useless crap all throughout the house, in the basement and the garage, and even spilling out onto the lawn.

The cleanup crew (a crew of about a dozen, with two or three trucks to haul away as much stuff as possible) and the therapists and the family friends convinced the guy that he needed to let go of his crap. He was upset, but willing to do it for the sake of his 3 year old son.

Was the wife happy? Oh, no, because when they got into the house, it turned out that SHE was AT LEAST as bad as he was. Worse, really, because she didn't think she had the problem - she blamed it all on him. She fought tooth and nail over EVERY SINGLE ITEM that they wanted to throw away - every item.

My takeaway from this was that, if you can stand to live in that kind of environment, you are probably a hoarder, too. You just don't realize it yet! The only situations I saw where there were people living like that and NOT feeling like it was normal or ok were the kids who had no choice but to live there. Adults have the luxury of choosing to put up with it - which is why the only reason many of the people who finally (and reluctantly) agreed to accept help for their disorder were people who were faced with the very real prospect of losing their loved-ones - their kids, their spouses, extended family members, etc.

This whole business was very eye-opening for me. I've seldom seen such a disparity between being aware of a problem and being able to do something about. In this case, GI Joe was dead-wrong... Knowing is certainly NOT half the battle!

Now, excuse me while I go take a shower... yuck.

Karma is a bitch!

So, yesterday I blogged about the dickhead GT fans who tried to ruin my love of college softball.

Today, GT had to play Oregon, again, in the double-elimination tournament. If GT lost either of the next two games, they'd go home and have no chance at the college world series in June.

Not surprisingly, I desperately wanted to see this team lose - not because of the girls on the team so much as their dickwad fans. Only one girl on the team (remember Piggy?) deserved a beating - the rest just happened to be stuck with her.

Well, it appears that Gaia heard my unspoken prayers and handed GT a 4-3 loss. GT's star player, Jen Yee (college softball's best hitter) had a chance to end the game in the bottom of the 7th. Unfortunately for her, Karma kicked her right in the teeth as she grounded out to 2nd.

GT did end up coming back in the bottom of the 7th to tie, but Oregon stayed tough and was able to score a run in the top of the 8th. GT had no answer and were sent packing.

All because of Piggy and her idiot fans.

Thanks, Karma!

Draggin' out the old soapbox...

Women's College Softball. One of my favorite sports to watch on television. I rank it right up there with MMA, Indycar racing, Women's tennis, and Women's volleyball.

Besides the fact that it's good competition and filled with exceptionally talented athletes, I appreciate that the young women involved, as well as their coaching staff and their fans, are good sports who genuinely love the game. As a fan, I prefer this to what I usually see in men's sports.

Today, however, was the exception. I just finished watching the Oregon Ducks vs. the Georgia Tech Yellowjackets. It all started with some jackoff in the stands (a Georgia Tech fan) doing the whole, "Swing batter batter batter" business. Then it progressed to boos and catcalls. Then it was straight up asshole-ness. This particular fuckwad fan appeared to have been a football player (he was sitting with a bunch of his buddies who also looked like they were probably football players).

Somewhere around the second inning, this dickhead must have gotten a talking to by some other fans, or security, or perhaps his coach, because he quieted down and seemed somewhat abashed. There was still some noise coming from his section, but at least it wasn't just his voice.

I don't know if it was in spite of this moron or because of him, but the Oregon Ducks went on a tear and started kicking the living shit out of GT. In the first inning, they were down 0-2 when a batter deep in the lineup (maybe the 9th batter) hit a grand slam putting Oregon ahead 4-2 and they never looked back. They ended up winning (by mercy rule) 11-2.

By the end of the game, almost all of the fans were yelling and booing and carrying on like a bakery full of ass-hats. For the most part, they were booing the umpires due to a couple of questionable calls. This must have rubbed off on the team because even the losing pitcher (we'll call her "Piggy") was acting like a bitch. To be honest, however, Piggy was kind of a bitch before she threw the first ball, but she was quite a bit worse by the end of the game. She even threw a shoulder into the catcher out of pissiness.

My point is this: College Softball is supposed to be about talent, desire, but above all else, good-sportsmanship. I've never seen such an embarrassing display in my many years of watching. Fans should be all about cheering for their players and maybe yelling at the umpire, but it should never come down to being jerks to the players, regardless of the outcome of the game.

I was really hoping the first dickhead would have gotten ejected. Had he been alone, rather than sitting with a bunch of good sized guys, I doubt he would have had as much to say. Granted, he was a pretty big kid himself, and he was no doubt surrounded by like-minded fans, however I'm still convinced nobody acts like that without asshole support.

So, I say boo to Georgia Tech, its fans, coaches and players. What a sad, sorry state of affairs. Although, I have to admit it was very gratifying watching GT get their asses handed to them despite being a big bag of dicks. You don't hear that about a group of women normally, but GT is certainly the exception that proves the rule.

Let's just hope this is an isolated incident.

Go Huskies!

Coming up...

Pet Peeve time, kids.

One thing I can not stand is right before a TV show goes to commercial, there's always a minute or two of "what's coming up after the break". I don't give a crap what's coming up - I'm perfectly happy to wait until it's up, at which point I'll be happy to watch it. I don't need to know why I shouldn't "change that channel" - if the show's a good one, I'll fast forward through the bullshit commercials and begin enjoying it again in 5 or 10 seconds.

Then, to add insult to injury, when the show's over, I get treated to a sneak peek of next week's show. And, no matter how they package it, it's always some bullshit to make it look way more exciting than it's going to be.

For instance, I watch "The Ultimate Fighter" every week. I love MMA and it's a pretty good show. But, at the end of every week, I'm guaranteed that next week's show is going to be the most exciting episode of the season! At the end of tonight's episode, for instance, it shows Chuck Lidell and Tito Ortiz seemingly about to start throwing down in the middle of the gym and all hell's breaking loose. In reality, it will probably boil down to the two of them yelling at each other then pretending to try to fight their way through their respective crowds at which point they'll be separated without so much as a slap from either one.

Good editing can make a boring show look fantastic. I give you "The Lightening Thief" as an example. The previews looked phenomenal and I was all ready to run down to the theater with my boys and check it out. Fortunately, my friend went the night before and pointed out that the previews were easily the best parts of the movie and I should save my money and just wait for the DVD.

I'm wise enough that I took his advice and thanked him for saving me $50 and two hours of my life.

I don't really have a good way to end this, so I'll just say this: Have you ever noticed that most of the women who are against abortion are women you wouldn't wan to fuck in the first place? -- George Carlin.

Lamest... Idol... Ever...

All of you Frank Sinatra fans out there, please raise your hand. Just what I thought... no one.

I watched the entire episode in fast-forward in a record time of about 7 minutes.

I like Harry Connick Jr, but you just can't make Frank Sinatra sound good no matter how hard you try, unless you ARE Harry Connick Jr. Even then, it's a stretch.

And what the fuck is Aaron still doing on the show? Siobhan (the only reason I even watched this season in the first place) is booted out - rightfully so, considering her last few weeks - but Aaron is still here???

First Lilly Scott and now this... I don't think I can watch any more of this season.

But just when I thought all hope was lost, tonight I saw the trailer for the new season of SYTYCD!!! So, you see, there is a god after all...

So, I'll probably fast-forward through the rest of the Idol season just out of morbid curiosity, but I have to say my heart just isn't into it. That is, unless Crystal gets voted off - at which point, there really won't be any reason to continue.

AND, should Aaron end up winning this season, I will never again watch American Idol (you heard it here first). Clearly, that will be the first sign of the apocalypse, so I'll need to start packing.