Friday, June 6, 2008

Stoopidity in the workplace.

Sadness from Sidney,

Ok, not really sadness, more like disgusted frustration. We've interviewed about a million people for our open Unix position (linux/solaris). Half of the people suck and the other half are unqualified (due to suckage).

Basically, they're all stupid. Most, however, are stupid in the most insidious way: They THINK they're intelligent because they're comparing themselves to the REALLY stupid people that they work with.

For instance, some guy might rate himself an 8 on a scale of 1 to 10. But, he only knows how dumb he is in comparison to the "smartest" guy in the shop. Naturally, on the Anthony Scale, he's really only about a 5 or so. So, when he shows up all proud of himself ready to "wow" us, he ends up leaving sad and even a little dirty - mostly because of all the sucking up he had to do to overcome his uselessness.

Back in Omaha, we worked with a guy named Dan. Dan was, in a nutshell, a dumbass. However, he fancied himself a really smart guy who had the misfortune of having to work with three or four super-smart guys. It bummed him out because he was used to always being the smartest guy in the room, until he came to Mutual. Suddenly, he was basically the dumbest.

The sad thing is, stupid people are completely oblivious to their own shortcomings. When I was a kid, I used to think that stupid people stayed awake at night, bemoaning their intellectual limits. Little did I realize at the time, those people slept like babies! They didn't stay up late at night because they had no idear that they were morons. They figured, at worst, they were average.

Regrettably, I'm still dealing with these mental midgets today. Here's an example: we had a guy in recently who was applying for the Solaris position. I told him at the time that I was the resident Solaris expert. He admitted that his Solaris knowledge was a bit rusty, but was ready to show me his stuff.

About halfway through the interview, I asked him a middle of the road technical question. He had the right idear, but the wrong filename. I guess I gave something away with my body language, because he immediately became defensive. I told him that he did indeed have the right idear, he was jut quoting the wrong filename.

He sat back a little smugly and explained how I must be mistaken because he remembered quite clearly the name of the file. I felt a little like Phil Helmuth when he's holding the nut flush and some guy with a pair of queens just went all-in. But, I'm a nice guy and I didn't want to hurt his little feelings, so I gave him a chance to get off the hook. I said something like, "As the resident Solaris expert, I can tell you right now that you've got the filename wrong. But, it's no big deal, so let's just move on."

This wasn't the first time he'd been wrong, so I was positive he'd demur politely and let it go. BUT HE DIDN'T! He continued arguing with me that he was right - he even became a little aggressive, leaning forward with raised eyebrows. I tried to calm him down and I gave him one last chance to get off the hook by saying something like "I'm positive that you've got the filename wrong - but, don't sweat it, let's just move on."

He sat back with arms crossed and an angry face. Then, he finally noticed the confident look on my face and he started to backtrack and apologize for being aggressive by explaining he was just having a hard time of the interview, etc. But, he was still pretty sure he was right.

Finally, I busted out the correct answer. He slapped his forehead with both hands then dropped his head to the table and covered his face with his hands. I honestly thought he was going to cry. He eventually sat back up and admitted I was absolutely right (as if!) and fell all over himself apologizing for being so argumentative, etc. I told him it was ok, but we both knew he'd pretty much talked his way out of a job.

This is exactly what I'm talking about - stupid people honestly have no idear that they're stupid. I wish I could say this guy was the exception and not the rule, but I'm afraid that isn't the case.

Although, to be perfectly honest, I appreciate the fact that stupid people are out there - it just makes me look better by comparison. :-)

Cya!

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

yay for stupid people.
and for super geniuses like you old man.
thanks for the entertainment for the day. miss you tons!

admin said...

I started to respond with a story of my own, but decided to post in on my own blog. Read it here:
http://friscofred.blogspot.com/2008/06/outsourcing-interviews.html

Anonymous said...

I agree with your 2nd rotten child... yay for stupid people for making others feel better about themselves :-) You clearly enjoyed it as you had to post about it to prove once again you're smarter than the average bear.

Love ya old man!

Anonymous said...

I usually refer to this as the "doesn't know enough to know what they don't know" syndrome.

With some carefully applied enlightenment, they learn a little of what they don't know. Then they find out that they're not smart enough to know everything that they don't know. Then the crying starts, and the laughter.

They're the ones doing the crying.

Anonymous said...

I thought you said you were going to update this thing you lazy bastard. Do you really have anything else better to do in that little town of yours?