Hah! The fix is IN! (and AI spoiler alert)

I knew it! I just watched the last episode of Top Chef Season 5. I've been surprised from time to time by what the judges say and who ultimately gets kicked off the show. After last night's episode, I finally have some proof of the conspiracy I suspected all along. Yessiree, the fix is in, but good...

Check out this bit of small print that they flashed up on the screen just as the episode was ending:

"Winning and elimination decisions were made by the judges in consultation with the producers. Some elimination decisions were discussed with Bravo."

Clearly, I wasn't the only person seeing a connection between decision-making and ratings. This was obviously written by lawyers trying to cover the asses of the Top Chef producers and the network.

Boo, I say, and again Boo!

Ok, now on to AI...

First impressions: This was no well-choreographed routine from SYTYCD. In fact, several people on stage appeared to be suffering from a serious, and itchy, skin condition. This show is without doubt NOT a dancing competition.

One thing that made me chuckle early on was Tattooed-Girl pushing Mischavon out of the way so that she and Adam could have a little more camera exposure.

Oh, and why oh why was Jesse vamping it up so hard? Somebody needs to remind that poor girl that she's not hot. While they're at it, maybe the could suggest to Jeanine that she dig a little deeper into her wardrobe...

Fashion aside, how did the rest of the night go? Not particularly surprisingly, Allison Red-Hair made the early cut. She's definitely not my favorite by any stretch, but she can certainly sing.

Back to fashion for one second: She needs to wear a slightly larger dress size, or drop about 20 Ell Bees. She'd better start stocking up on "Spanks", that's all I can say.

Next group had Kris and Tattoed-Girl up against each other. Apparently, America agreed with me that the kid did a pretty good job on "man in the mirror" after all. He just needs a little more confidence, and some really good song choices, and he might actually have a chance.

By the way, I was glad to see my girl Brooke back on stage and behind the piano. Cute as ever and not nearly as nervous as when she was on the show. Sadly, and I mean that sincerely, I hated her song. It just seemed really, really boring. She should be doing fun, uplifting, make-ya-smile songs. Ah, c'est la vie.

Finally, and again not particularly surprisingly, they paired Adam "I love Musical Theater" with Normal "Jennifer Hudson better watch out" Gentle. For one giddy second I really thought he might make it in. But, honestly, the better singer made it, which has me hopeful for this season.

At the end of Adam's song, Chase looked up and said, "Dad, that was really... really... gay." I nearly peed myself. He's a chip off the old block alrighty.

Next week looks pretty good. I wonder how the sweet blind guy will do... ;-)

But, another one of my favorites is due up: The Samoan giantess, Taylor Something-or-other. She's my new Stevie Wright.

Also up next week are Lil Rounds, Nathanial Uber-Gay, and Arianna Blahblah. I'm thinking those four will all be in the top 12, once they figure out the wildcard spots.

I've been thinking about the wildcard spots. My guess is the judges get to choose the wildcards, and they'll do it in such a way that there will be an even number of guys and girls. Therefore, if another guy makes the third spot next week (to join the Oil Rig guy and Kris Allen), then all three wildcards will be chicks.

To be honest, I'm cool with that. I realize that things need to be balanced. And, who knows, maybe Norman Gentle and/or Tattoo-girl will still make the top 12. Possibly even Tatiana, especially if the producers are as involved as they seem to be in Top Chef (once more... Boo!).

See ya in the funny papers. Anthony out!