(This one is kinda gross - strap in)
Completely off-topic and way out in left-field, but the other night a bunch of us were watching a UFC bout at a buddy's house. One guy's girlfriend said something like, "blah blah blah, blumpkin, blah blah."
Not surprisingly, none of us older people knew what the hell she was talking about.
She was shocked and so decided to enlighten us. "Everyone knows", she began, "that a blumpkin is when you receive a blowjob whilst simultaneously taking a shit."
* stunned silence *
Naturally, we (adults over 30) thought she was full of shit, no pun intended. But, oh no, apparently this is a well-known bit of debauchery to these disgusting young people.
Maybe I'm an old prude, but that is just filthy. Who in the hell came up with this one??? Really, nothing better to do, eh?
How the hell do you even suggest this to your girlfriend/lover/whatever? "Hey, babe, you know what would go great after that wonderful Thanksgiving dinner you put together? A big old blumpkin pie!" - Yes, a blumpkin pie is an even more disgusting variation on this already horrendous act.
I worry for the state of our country.
6 comments:
I didn't remember the term "blumpkin", but I vaguely remember hearing someone talking about the concept. I had thought George Carlin had said it, but apparently it was Howard Stern.
Talk about things that make you go hmmm. When I read this I immediately thought of Rose Blumpkin (founder of the Nebraska Furniture Mart). As many names relate to the profession of an ancestor (think Smith for Blacksmith or Silversmith, or Miller for well, miller), it made me go hmmm.
But then I spoiled it by looking her up. It’s Rose Blumkin. Sigh.
blumpkins are the best way to relax.
Wow. That is incredibly disgusting.
Never taken a google wander through the online *urban* dictionary then?
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